David Feherty is well known for his comical sense of humor. There is never a dull moment with David Feherty, who’s full of unforgettable quips and stories he’ll tell during golf broadcasts and in interviews that have made golfers and golf fans laugh for years.

Here are a few of his bests:

Quotes:

On giving up alcohol:

“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge any more.”

On Gary Player’s unsubstantiated suggestion that performance-enhancing drugs are rife in modern pro golf:

“Gary thinks he invented fitness because he used to do push-ups on the airplane. He’s just upset because you can’t win a major any more with a low, flat hook and a Napoleon complex.”

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On the life advice given to Michelle Wie by her parents who thought it would be a good move to encourage their then-16 year old daughter to compete on the PGA Tour:

“She could be adopted by Britney Spears and be better off. I want my 16-year-old daughter to have an enormous phone bill, a case of the giggles and to be pissed off at me for killing her first three boyfriends. I do not want her out on Tour under that kind of pressure.”

On Tiger Woods:

The first time he ever watched him play, Woods had hit the ball into deep rough alongside a large root and was left with a horrendous lie. Feherty said on-air that the only available option was to hit a wedge out sideways and try and scramble a par. Tiger promptly hit one of his miracle shots, a towering, sweeping slice with a 2-iron that rolled to within 12 feet of the flag. When describing his reaction to the shot, Feherty said, “I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’ “

On Jim Furyk’s swing:

“It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth”

On Rory’s Wrist Injury a Few Years Ago

“Fortunately he is 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

Upon seeing a tour player hook a ball miles left of his intended target:

“That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon.”

On Phil “The Thrill” Mickelson’s maverick and sometimes downright destructive approach to golf:

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

ANECDOTES:  

On Phil again…

“Phil is brilliant, but he’s nuts. There’s something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see. His mother told me, ‘Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was 4 because he kept bumping into things.’ I told her, ‘Mary, Mary, I’m a writer, you can’t keep handing me material like this.’ So the next time I saw Phil I said, ‘You didn’t really wear a football helmet in the house until you were 4, did you?’ He said, ‘It was more like 5.’ “

Classic Tiger Woods Interview: