I know you’ve been watching but I have been really good all year.
- I never hit my ball into the group ahead of me no matter how slow they are playing.
- I always fix my divots.
- I follow every rule even if I don’t agree with it or even if it slows down my pace of play.
- I show up for my tee time 30 minutes early and once called make my way to the first tee box promptly.
- I tuck my shirt in and follow strict golf dress code.
- I pick up my broken tees on the tee box and dispose of them in the trash and never leave litter behind.
- I only consume 1-2 adult beverages while playing my round.
- I always tip the beverage cart attendant and cart barn staff.
- I never walk through someone’s line on the green and always tend the flag.
- I play ready golf and don’t waste time sorting out my shots. I approach prepared.
- I silence my phone once my round has commenced.
- I don’t talk shit to my fellow players, even if my gut tells me they deserve it.
- I drive the golf cart on the paths and follow all cart signage.
- I make my tee times a week in advance.
- I count every stroke and penalty.
- I record every single round I play to the GHIN system.
- I hit practice balls at the range at least three times a week.
- I practice my putting nightly.
- I rake the bunkers after I hit to appear as if I had never been there.
- I support junior golf initiatives.
- I attend every local major golf event as a fan and spectator.
- I even donate my time as a volunteer at the local major golf events.
I don’t ask for much. I’m not even asking for a hole-in-one. All I want is for Tiger’s triumphant return.
Please and thank you!