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Dear Santa: Please Bring Back A Winning Tiger


Dear Santa,

I know you’ve been watching but I have been really good all year.

  • I never hit my ball into the group ahead of me no matter how slow they are playing.
  • I always fix my divots.
  • I follow every rule even if I don’t agree with it or even if it slows down my pace of play.
  • I show up for my tee time 30 minutes early and once called make my way to the first tee box promptly.
  • I tuck my shirt in and follow strict golf dress code.
  • I pick up my broken tees on the tee box and dispose of them in the trash and never leave litter behind.
  • I only consume 1-2 adult beverages while playing my round.
  • I always tip the beverage cart attendant and cart barn staff.
  • I never walk through someone’s line on the green and always tend the flag.
  • I play ready golf and don’t waste time sorting out my shots.  I approach prepared.
  • I silence my phone once my round has commenced.
  • I don’t talk shit to my fellow players, even if my gut tells me they deserve it.
  • I drive the golf cart on the paths and follow all cart signage.
  • I make my tee times a week in advance.
  • I count every stroke and penalty.
  • I record every single round I play to the GHIN system.
  • I hit practice balls at the range at least three times a week.
  • I practice my putting nightly.
  • I rake the bunkers after I hit to appear as if I had never been there.
  • I support junior golf initiatives.
  • I attend every local major golf event as a fan and spectator.
  • I even donate my time as a volunteer at the local major golf events.

I don’t ask for much.  I’m not even asking for a hole-in-one.  All I want is for Tiger’s triumphant return.

Please and thank you!


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